That time I got a laugh out of Andrea Gibson

Andrea: "I'm sorry, I keep not knowing what to do."

Me: "It's OK, that's life!"

Andrea (and everyone else) laughed.


Andrea Gibson, one of the best spoken word poets ever, performed at Indy Reads Books a few weeks ago. She seemed a bit discombobulated from time to time. It was completely adorable. I'm not sure I've ever simultaneously been so starstruck, yet so aware of someone's regular, human-ness.

Here she is, along with Kelsey Gibb. Behind her, on the floor? That's me.

Here is what might be my favorite love poem of hers (though that is A VERY HARD THING TO CHOOSE):

Dispatches from No-Facebook Land

Well, I did say I was going to be practicing at mindfulness while I do this. But a few kinks have come into the mix today.

First, I was in a wedding over the weekend, so I may have cheated just long enough to a) make sure I was right about the rehearsal dinner location and b) see if any photos got posted the Sunday after the wedding. (There are photos, and they are awesome.)

Second, between the rich wedding foods and the fact that the Communists have invaded the funhouse this week (I'm going to let you ponder that one until you understand. Get it? Not yet, okay. Oh, there goes the lightbulb. There ya go. We can proceed)... the only thing I am really mindful of at the moment is how much the tummy-region of my body freaking hates me right now.

So I'm currently being mindful of my gastric and reproductive systems' combined rage, while staring at the chocolate bar I can't finish. I feel so crappy that even chocolate cannot fix it. Hot honey-lemon-ginseng green tea is giving me no trouble, though, so all is not lost.

I also cheated in order to tell a couple of friends that their Twitter accounts were sending me spam/phishing direct messages, which I got via text. I cheated because I'm an awesome friend, and helping my friends with their online security is more important than doing this right. Or something. Yeah.

Since I'm kinda failing at being mindful today, and I don't have much to offer, here's David Wong doing much better at introspection than I am. Go ponder the Monkeysphere.

On Social Media Strike!

Hah, OK. I'm not really on strike.

More like a hiatus, or sabbatical, or fast.

I've been thinking a lot about doing this, lately, but it took this long to work up the will. But in contemplation of my goals to be more satisfied in my work and home lives, more productive, more organized, and pursuing more minimalist goals as well -- I've determined that a social media fast might be just the thing I need to kickstart a decluttering of the mind.

It's just so easy to be snarky or insightful for a minute or two. And flipping down through a Twitter or Facebook stalker feed, catching up on the lives and interests of 600 or so of my closest friends... well, there's just no way to keep up with it. And the next thing I know, I'm trying to not re-share or retweet EVERY interesting thing someone's said, but there are over 600 of you, so even the most-interesting of the interesting starts to really pile up over a day. It's not like the addiction has impeded my productivity at work - I'm above all goals in quality and production. But I could do better, and I'm not, because I'm a walking exhibit on ADD thanks to all the mental clutter.

And then I go to finish a poem, or a story, or start or finish a blog draft, and I only get as far as a few sad, partly formed paragraphs. I try to select freelance projects, and I'm not listening to myself enough to know which ones I really should take on, versus the ones I just think I should take on or feel obligated to do. Also, that's putting it kindly, because all the freelancing I've done so far was for free, and the closest things I have to portfolio-able samples in the last half decade are some proposals and some Powerpoint presentations.

So I came to a few conclusions and have started some experiments.

1) I'm not working on any projects right now, outside of my full-time job. The job, though, has been extending some social-media updating opportunities (HOW EXCITING!), I've gotten involved in some publication planning meetings, I've got some professional development meet-and-groups lined up with various departments I might branch into, I've planned and executed a special event for my department, and I'm helping with orientation presentations starting next week.

Whew, this is plenty! And I'm grateful. I have been looking into elance and fiverr, and tinkering with a website, sort of an online business card with work samples and, eventually, testimonials. But for at least the next few weeks, no pursuit of freelance is taking place. This will give more time to do more in terms of volunteering and/or activist work.

2) I've installed the LeechBlock add-on to Firefox on my work computer, to help enforce my week-long "no social media" goal. It's been just half a day at this point, and I haven't shown any jonesing-addict symptoms. I have, however, felt slightly more wakeful and more engaged in what's right next to me. I feel totally clueless in terms of what news stories are going on because I have not even checked the news. I bantered instead for those first five minutes before it's time to clock in and get to work. So, oddly, I feel both more connected and in-control, and less so, at the same time.

3) I'm going to keep journaling my experiences, and any changes I notice, each of the 7 days I go without social media. Probably not all 7 days will wind up here, but I'll try to at least summarize my findings.

4) I'm also going to read and meditate for at least 20 minutes each every day, and get at least half an hour of exercise every day. A considerable boost from the half an hour every other day that I mostly, but not always, keep up on. This vessel I'm in deserves better. I've already been doing better in terms of cutting down processed foods and sodas, and drinking more water. And I don't want to change too much, too drastically. I'm already taking on a lot of change here.

5) For a portion of each day, I'm going to work on doing another cull of my stuff. I've gotten so much pared down in the last year, but I still feel too much like the stuff I own is owning me. I still engage in too much recreational window shopping, which too often results in buying. I'm never going to afford even a tiny house, if don't save more. Saving more often comes as a direct result of being content with enough.

Damn. Midwest Fashion Week canceled for October.

It's gotten mixed press for years now, and they've canceled the fall event with less than a month's notice? What's going on, Berny?

I received the press release below:

INDIANAPOLIS, September 24, 2013—While Fashion Week is currently underway in the major fashion capitals of the world, sources from the local Midwestern staple, started in 2006, are releasing details regarding the highly anticipated events. Originally slated for October 14-19, 2013, Midwest Fashion Week events for the fall season have been cancelled, with planning for the Spring/Summer 2014 show already in the works.

Midwest Fashion Week Founder, Berny Martin, says event followers are not to worry about the future of the bi-annual event series stating, “While we regret to inform our fans and supporters that our October 2013 events are cancelled, we currently have some exciting things happening behind the scenes. We know this will mean a bigger and brighter future for Midwest Fashion Week and look forward to bringing our best show yet, which we are excited to announce will take place the week of March 17, 2014.”

In the wake of cancellation, the event series, known for bringing awareness to the Midwest’s fashion industry, is currently focusing on building relationships to take Midwest Fashion Week to new levels.
About Midwest Fashion Week

Midwest Fashion Week is based in Indianapolis, IN and consistently provides local, national and international designers a platform to showcase their work while fulfilling its mission to make high fashion attainable in the region. For more information, contact info@MidwestFashionWeek.com or visit MidwestFashionWeek.com. Media event participation and inquiries can be directed to media@midwestfashionweek.com.

To learn more about Midwest Fashion Week and to inquire further information regarding becoming a sponsor/vendor/featured designer, please visitwww.MidwestFashionWeek.com or contact:info@midwestfashionweek.com.

What do you think of this? I haven't been to a MFW because so far, when I've had the time, I haven't had the money, and when I've had the money, I haven't had the time.

I post links.

Betsey Johnson spring/summer 2014. This dress needs to GET ON MY BODY RIGHT NOW.

1) First and foremost: A person in Indiana leadership, who is a Republican, is pulling shenanigans against women. Again. This time, it's Attorney General Greg Zoeller, who said he wants to curb the expensive, and awful, levels of Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome in the state. Wanting to protect infants is good!

However, he said one of the options on the table is mandatory drug testing of ALL pregnant people in the state. This is bad!

Then when we raised a fuss, he tried to say he never said that. This is stupid! Because we have transcripted proof!

(I'm actually working on a longer post on the fight for women's basic rights in Indiana. So, stay tuned for that. For now, I'm grinding my ax in more private channels than this one.)

2) New York Fashion Week happened. Trends happened. Which ones will you be seeking out for your spring shopping?  I'm kind of thrilled about those high-necked tank tops like we saw in the 90's having a moment. Also, LOTS of black and white, which is kinda my thing.

And that's not even going off on my favorites like Diane Von Furstenberg and Betsey Johnson (I so want her models' cotton candy  hair)! Also, Giles featured BATS! Oh, my fluttering heart <3 That whole collection was just yay!

3) Jessica's a woman after my own heart this week.

4) Allie just doesn't give a f---. But she can't say that anymore.

Things that seriously crack me up...

Yeah, OK, I'll be the immature person this morning and admit that poop jokes make me laugh. Especially when told by a fancy, proper British lady:



Jezebel is all about the snark because it's just one more thing for us women to be ashamed of,  but I say that smells like manufactured outrage. Isn't *everyone* at least a little skittish on the subject?

I'm more concerned about what's in the stuff. I mean, if everyone and her grandma starts using this spray... will we have water supply issues in ten years? Won't SOMEONE think of the children? I guess it's stink-bomb problems now, or water shortages later. Maybe. I'm being too lazy to look at the ingredient list this morning.


Unrelated: I finally have internet at my own place now. So maybe we can make some magic happen more frequently than once a month around here! Huzzah!

An open letter to the Indy Star's newest guest column duo, Chicks on the Right

Ladies:

I take a lot of issue with the entire premise of your new column, and you really hit the nail on why in the very first sentence.

“The word “feminist” has been hijacked by liberals, and we’re taking it back.” No, it hasn’t.

"You see, we ARE feminists.” No, you aren’t. And I refuse to share a name with anyone who clearly doesn’t know the meaning of it.

Even if there are things we agree on, like taking personal responsibility for your actions and working hard (Which… given that you’re making a career of sitting on your butts and criticizing people who work harder than you do. Yeah. Do you even LOOK into a mirror in your daily life?)  basic feminism 101 is to build women up, not attack every woman who isn’t you with gender-targeted attack terms such as “harpy,” "parasite," and “shrill shrieking.” And we certainly don’t shy from basic human anatomy. The word is vagina. Vagina. You have it, there’s no shame in owning it. Feminism 101: Respect women, and respect yourselves.

Not that there’s anything new about conservative columnists trying to hijack terminology and then say it was the liberals, while their hand is still shoved elbow-deep in the proverbial cookie jar. But as you can read yourself in Revelations 21:8, the God you claim to follow doesn’t have much patience for liars.

No, being a feminist means being a grown up. It means doing a basic amount of research. I expect even an opinion piece to be a researched piece. Some research would reveal that the only reason you were ever able to work outside the home, vote, wear those (ahem, stylish…) Mom jeans in photo shoots, not be forced out of the workplace by sexual harrassment, get equal pay to the man next to you who does the exact same work, and be seen by readers at all… is due to the effort of feminists. For every Elizabeth Cady Stanton requesting change with decorum, there’s been an Alice Paul raising hell to demand it. The two needed each other to get the job done. And there are so, so many jobs still to do. (You like how I don’t shy from the word “job?” Kind of freaks you out that a liberal has comfort with that word, hmm?)

I suggest, in your research on what feminism really is, that you peruse Susan Faludi’s “Backlash.” Particularly chapter 10. In case you think your choice to work as a mouthpiece for antifeminists is really such a choice at all, once the rich white men decide you’ve served their purpose. You try and keep this job on that day. This has happened before.

I’m not saying there aren’t conservative feminists. Megyn Kelly doesn’t identify as such, but she’s still kicking your butts at it. Kathy Hawken is a conservative feminist. So is Meghan McCain. The work they do every day is a lot harder than making it to a hair or nail appointment. (Nice highlights, by the way. Did you exercise fiscal responsibility and use a Groupon or something?)

Another thing feminists don’t do is ignore the fact that not all women have or want husbands. I guess I’m double as personally-responsible as you because I do this all on my own, and even when I did qualify for food stamps, I didn’t take them. Some women do fine on their own. Some women have wives. Or did you just have to remind us all that you’re desirable enough to snag a man? Another thing to read up on in your research on what feminism really means. No real feminist would feel the need to bring up their husband every other paragraph. It really just makes you sound like you’re anxiously writing this column to get, or keep, some man’s approval.

And, finally, feminists recognize that the choice to help each other out is not weakness, laziness, or relying on a government “Sugar Daddy,” it is strength. Moreover, it is far more biblical than standing over a homeless person, clutching your purse tightly closed, wrapping tighter in your furs, and sniffing “Actions have consequences.” Matthew 25:35.

I probably lean more libertarian or anarchist than some in that I’d rather see grassroots cooperatives take on things like lifting ourselves out of poverty, providing resources for women who want to become, stay, or stop being pregnant, and making sure every child born is a child wanted and provided for. Equality in parental leave, for example, is hardly something to vilify. But until these preferable infrastructures are in place, I prefer the present safety net, flimsy and flawed as it is, to none at all. (The day success-disincentivizing assistance is fully replaced by initiative-based programs such as the Family Independence Initiative can't come soon enough.) And I don’t consider something I pay my hard earned money into as an “entitlement,” I see this as an investment. There but for the grace of God go I. One day, if you ever have to choose between buying food, putting gas in your car to get to one of your two jobs, or paying the light bill, maybe you’ll understand.

Look, you can have your column, whatever. Even Bill O’Reilly is not incorrect all the time, so maybe you’ll hit on something some day. I just stand here and demand a couple of things. First of all, stop bersmirching the word feminism by trying to associate it with being a schoolyard bully instead of a grownup. And, second, do a better job. As it stands, you come off as middle aged, trophy wife wannabe’s terrified of being old or irrelevant. In truth, there’s nothing to fear in aging, and you’ve already barreled headlong into that whole irrelevance thing, so what’s left to fear?

Here’s the deal. If you’re going to insist on continuing, take an option. Be mean enough to compare to Ann Coulter,  (And, really, when even Coulter’s vocabulary is bigger than yours? Tsk.) Or, be smart enough to compare with Megyn Kelly, because as it stands right now, you’re just an embarrassment even to mediocrity, and Indiana doesn’t really need more of that.

Supplemental Reading:

Jezebel: Conservative 'chicks' finally explain, like, the rules of feminism!

Nerdy Feminists: Chicks on the right: You're so wrong!

Punchnels: An Open Letter to the Chicks on the Right

Salon: Yes, Pro Choice Republicans Are Real!

The Jenna Bee: The Anti-Feminist Feminists