This weekend I bumped into a neighbor. I said she looked great, did she change her hair color? She then went into this whole story about all her gray hair, she had to dye it because people were mistaking her for her 85-year old grandmother. The woman doesn’t look a day over 35, with her original color or with this new shade. However, after her comment I noticed her laugh lines, and was more curious about how much gray she had in comparison to me. Her comment made me notice her age, not her self.
I wrote about this trend before in my post, “The Self-deprecating Comment” but it bears repeating.
Women, you are not doing yourself any favors when you knock yourself down in public situations.
I have done it myself – better to mention the baby weight/zit on my chin/bags under my eyes/stain on my shirt before someone else does. By mentioning it, at least people know I know it exists, and don’t think I’m hot stuff running around town flaunting the baby weight/zit/dark circles/dirty blouse.
The thing is… the world isn’t analyzing every inch of you the way in which you do. [...]
When you make a joke or an excuse for your weight, your features, your laugh, some part of you… you’re not showing that you’re self-aware, you’re showing that you’re self-conscious. And you are making that feature more prominent… and yourself as less attractive.
I had a REALLY hard time cutting this down to just a tidbit to quote, because it's all too brilliant in its should-be-obvious-ness. Just please, go read the whole thing. Better yet, just keep on reading her whole blog, because Allie is where it's at, kids.
Confidence and attitude. Confidence and attitude. Say it with me now. You can have the hottest dress and the most amazing shoes and the most expensive professional manicure and dye-job, but if you're self-hatey, none of that's gonna matter.