Monday, December 30, 2013

Day 19: No Limits

I'm going to be looking out for opportunities to take care of Think Kit's prompt for day 18, but I'm feeling a bit under the weather today, so mostly today is going to be a lot of self-care and tea drinking. Onward to day 19!

If money, time or other commitments were no obstacle in 2013, what would you do?

I'd do all the traveling I've been putting off for years because I was struggling financially. I'd go to festivals. I'd go to Cedar Point. I really want to see several places in Japan, and India, and I want to see the west coast, because the farthest west I've been is Abilene, Texas. I've never been outside the US, except for Niagara Falls, Canada, when I was 3. It doesn't count if you don't even remember it. I'd go to a lot more concerts. I'd finally take that trip backpacking through Europe like I used to talk about in my late teens, back when it didn't feel like a pipe dream.

And I'd take my boyfriend with me. Granted, he got some traveling out of the way,  years ago, and I've seen the photos. It looks like it was a lot of fun.

Honestly, though, these days, anything that amounts to spending time with him would do. I would spend so much more time with him. I'm probably a little overly emotional right now, because my body is spazzing out today and it feels awful, but I think about little things he does for me, like last night when I knew I was getting sick, so I didn't want to be out in the cold, and he scraped my car windows so I didn't have to. I'd say I don't know what I'd do without him, but I do without all the time, because I barely ever see him anymore. And then he goes and gives me things like this light-up DJ Pon-3 figurine, because he understands me:

But I don't know how much longer we're going to be able to do this thing. And it really isn't anyone's fault. It's just that there's only so long you can handle not even being able to do the most basic of relationship things because you just live too far away and you don't have important resources like time. So often I need cuddles and he just can't be there. So the thought of having the time and resources to just go to some beautiful place, even if just for a day or two, and just be with him. Yeah, if I could clear out all the obstacles, that is the first thing I would do.

I need tea and cuddles right now, and I've been tired for months of settling for just the tea.

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