Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Viva Video: Welcome to my newly-less-cluttered home (plus: the top 5 things to wear when Aunt Ruby LePeriod visits, so you look fab even if you don't feel it)

Guess what! The clutterbug apartment is now much more streamlined, though still not nearly to the minimalist levels I would like. And my six-legged roommates have officially been given the boot. I've gone from stressed about the whole thing, to showing off just a lil' bit.

(Re-uploaded for slightly less blurry action!)
And, happy Tuesday, we've got two blog posts for the price of one! Today only! For anyone who's ever been made miserably by that other, less-awesome Shark Week, here are...

the top 5 best things to wear during your period!

Under even the best of circumstances, this time leaves us cisgendered ladies feeling vaguely icky in the lower abdomen, fatigued, bloaty, and cranky. But, seeing how we’re grown-up, independent women, life demands that we hitch up our grown-up panties (in all their granny-sized, back-of-the-undie-drawer glory) and soldier on. So… it’s time to pop the painkiller of your choice, hydrate like crazy, sneak an extra candy bar in your purse and strategize. With a little care, but not too much fuss - because UGH, who feels like it right now! – you’ll look fab anyway, and you’ll probably feel better too.

1. Loose dress and leggings. I go for whimsical, but not too bright. Yellow would probably make me feel like a schoolbus, but your mileage may vary. A neutral legging with flats or wedges and your favorite knee-length, slightly shorter, or trendy high-low hem number. Wink at yourself in the mirror. You’re ready to roll! Pro tip? You probably want to avoid control-top. I know the temptation, you feel like a bloated mess and you want ‘em to hold you in. But seriously? Ow.

2. BRIGHT lipstick and/or blush. Coral, fuschia, magenta, fire-engine red? Name your poison. I thought I was too pink-toned for coral to work, but some Maybelline in Coral Crush really makes my face go from “somebody kill me and put me out of my misery!” to “hel-loooo there!” I layer on the lipstick, then smear a little onto the apples of my cheeks, finishing with a simple eye. Just some shimmery champagne shadow and lengthening mascara.

3. Wide-leg pants in a jersey knit. Maybe even drawstring or elastic waist. Slip a color blocked tunic on top and nobody will even tell. I love this. Even with a tunic instead of a crisp button-up, I feel a hint of Katherine Hepburn-esque sass in this getup. Pants like this are every bit as comfortable as sweats or PJ pants, but without the “I give up!” vibe. Never, ever surrender.

4. The most outrageous jewelry you own. “Don’t screw with me” spikes and leather? Earrings that look like cupcakes? Rhinestoned into oblivion? Rock it with no apologies. If you giggled like a little kid when you got it, it’s probably going to elevate your mood every time you notice it gracing your person.

5. Strategic scent. Lavender if you feel like you’re going to go hormone-rage and rip someone’s head off, or something that smells like candy or cake if you just need comfort. Wear what works for you. For me, the first day is usually the worst day, so my secret weapon is a delectable lemon-mint salt scrub I got on clearance ages ago. It’s like slathering a mojito all over your body. Lovely-smelling, relaxing, and invigorating all at the same time. I follow that with Bath & Body Works Coconut Lime Breeze lotion.

Now that you’re properly armed, go forth, keep your fierce face on, and conquer!

EDIT: Behold! Entirely relevant! Here are more tips, excellently laid out, for how to make your period suck less! Written by Gala, who incidently also wrote the above-linked piece on products to help you smell like cake. I think I have a blogger-crush, y'all.

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